If there is one thing that life has taught me its that I do not have all the answers.
The world is forever growing and evolving and our thinking needs to adapt with the times. There’s so much unhealthy behavior I took part in because I attributed it to being normal. That includes how I’ve dealt with family, friends, and lovers. Growing up I’ve let my emotions dictate how I treat and react to others. Letting your emotions guide you can be a dangerous thing. It took awhile for me to be able to get to a place where I can analyze why I was feeling the way I was. I had to learn that I could not govern everything in my life due to my emotions because frankly they can’t be trusted. As an emotional pimply pre-teen I’ve ended friendships with people who had the audacity to believe Backstreet Boys were better than N’SYNC. In my emotional ass eyes that was totally unacceptable. Luckily, I have grown past that stage in life and treat my friendships with a lot more care and tenderness. Now I only judge my friends by how broke their man is.
Unlearning to relearn.
Holding grudges was one of the worst I could’ve done to myself. It is literally one of the most harmful things you can do to yourself besides wasting your life on a man who believes in splitting the check at Applebee’s.
Forgive them. Forgive them in the most genuine way, straight from the heart. And if your pain won’t let you genuinely forgive; get to the root as to why and work your way from there.
I had to learn that not every situation requires you to cut someone off for the rest of your life. You have to figure out which situations are mendable and which ones are gone forever. Too often we let our ego make long term decisions for us and let out pride mask the pain. Don’t be that person that has a new set of friends every year because you don’t know how to forgive.
Unlearning to Relearn.
One of the worst things we’re taught to believe is that when someone is mean to you that means that they like you. We carry that defective thinking well into adulthood and it shapes most of the intimate relationships we have. Shitty behavior and actions are justified and deciphered to be everything but what it really is.
When people show you who they are, believe them. Stop trying to look for some deep meaningful part of them that they clearly do not wish to share with you.
The lesson repeats itself until you learn from it.
Overthinking just leads to heartache and anxiety, which is self inflicted. You literally drive yourself crazy constantly going over scenario after scenario of how you want a situation to play out, or plan out an impending conversation all in your head.Stop over-analyzing words and take them at face value.
If he says he doesn’t want a relationship; believe him.
If he says he doesn’t love you; believe him.
If he says he wants sister wives; BELIEVE HIM AND RUN SIS!
The worst thing you can do is to take those words and to believe it to believe anything but what was actually said. Not everything has an inner or hidden meaning. Hold people accountable for there actions. Don’t let the fact that he got his heartbroken in 5th grade be the reason why he has trust issues and can’t commit.
Unlearning to relearn.
Expect more from yourself the same way you expect more from others.
Set the tone for how you want to be treated. Remember people treat you how you allow them to.
Get out of your own way and live the life you’ve envisioned for yourself.